Your Emotional Health Can Create Healing or Destruction!

I believe that unresolved negative emotional states that are on the intense level of traumas affect your body. An unresolved negative emotion becomes embedded in a specific area of your body affecting organs in that area. Your body is a metaphor of what you are in the inside. If you have anger, typically, it lodges in the stomach area and gives you digestive problems. If you have sadness, grief, “heartbreak,” etc. you have issues with your upper chest area. If you have gender-confidence issues and/or wounds like shame  and guilt, you can develop sexual disorders. The list goes on. The following article shares how researchers are seeing this kind of connection:

Unresolved grief can be hidden health risk, experts say

Janice Lloyd, USA TODAY10:13 a.m. EDT May 27, 2013

Grief is a risk factor that can contribute to other health problems.

Moore

(Photo: Tom Pennington, Getty Images)

Story Highlights

  • How we wrestle with grief varies among individuals
  • Experts believe grief is linked to obesity, depression, diabetes, smoking and hospitalization
  • There are no easy solutions, but finding support is crucial

Whether you lose a loved one to disease, war, or a natural disaster like the tornado that tore apart Moore, Okla., last week, grief is the unwanted visitor that comes knocking at your door.

How we wrestle with grief — and ultimately push ahead to a new life — varies among individuals. But many of us who need help to bounce back are not getting it, health experts warn, jeopardizing our mental and physical health.

Toni Miles, director of the Institute of Gerontology at the University of Georgia, is embarking on a research project to find out how loss impacts health and what to do about it.

“Loss creates injury,” Miles says. “It is a new risk factor for poor health in the public sphere.”

Miles suspects grief is behind much of the nation’s obesity, depression, diabetes, smoking and hospitalization.

“When you study caregiving, you know (grief) kills people,” Miles says. “Obesity is also a big problem among caregivers. ”

Finding support can be the key to a person’s recovery and acceptance of the loss, says the American Cancer Society. Support can come from friends, physicians, spiritual leaders or mental health professionals. Everyone reacts differently to grief and for different periods of time. There’s not one easy solution or answer, Miles says.

Getting the right amount of support is rare, according to a 2004 study on family perspectives on dying in the Journal of the American Medical Association. Lead researcher Joan Teno asked participants “during the last month (of their loved one’s life), how much support in dealing with your feelings about a patient’s death did the doctors, nurses or other professional staff taking care of him or her provide you: less support than was needed, about the right amount or more attention than you needed?”

Overall, 20% of the family members stated they did not have the right amount of support, and most said they got less support than they needed.

Teno, a professor of health services policy and practice in the Public Health Program at Brown University and a palliative care physician at Home & Hospice Care of Rhode Island, says her research shows families who use hospice at the end of life cope better than those who don’t.

Donald Rosenstein, a professor of psychiatry at the University of North Carolina, is charting new territory into the bereavement process of fathers who lose their wives to cancer. He started a first-of-its-kind support group called Single Fathers Due to Cancer Program, part of the UNC Comprehensive Cancer Support Program.

“Everyone has a different reaction to grief,” Rosenstein says. “We (health care professionals) don’t have a lot of good information about how to get people to move on. But these fathers have been been teaching us.”

Rosenstein says in addition to learning what the fathers need – how to discipline children by themselves, how long to wear their wedding bands, when is it OK to date, how long to call their in-laws in-laws — they’re also learning how to help their children.

“For instance, moms always want to keep fighting and stay alive as long as possible for their families, but we’re learning it’s important for them to say goodbye,” to provide a sense of closure for their families, he says. “We are also learning how much that helps the children and how to have that conversation with children.”

Miles agrees that children are especially vulnerable: “Time doesn’t heal all wounds,” she says. “People in public health need to be discussing this topic more. There can be healthy outcomes from loss. It’s up to us to help to find ways to make that happen more often and to push for policy that guarantees it.”

ADVICE FOR DEALING WITH GRIEF

Grief is a typical reaction to death, divorce, job loss, a move away from family and friends, or loss of anything that is important to you, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services:

It can last from several months to several years, and can be accompanied by feelings of guilt, sadness or numbness. It might cause trembling, breathing difficulties and sleeplessness. It is also normal to feel joy and to express humor.

People who don’t process their grief can become angry, guilt-ridden and fail to care of their health. Here are the four steps along the way to healing from grief:

• Accept the loss.

• Work through and feel the emotional and physical pain.

• Adjust to living in the world without the person or lost item.

• Move on with life.

For more advice, an online guide to grief and bereavement is available from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

Article found at http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/05/27/grief-support-health/2356513/

Lynette Duplain said,

July 10, 2013 @ 6:09 pm

Dear Dr. Sam,

Thank you for answering the email I sent to you earlier this week. I asked you if narcissism is a disorder or a sin. I so appreciate that you are able to counsel from a unique perspective. I am in a terrible state of mind and am looking for answers. I recently had a crisis in my life that really is of my own doing. I took on a job that was beyond my abilities but I let my ego get the best of me and did it anyway. I reached a point where I realized I was in over my head and I quit very unexpectedly. The bummer is, I did the same thing about 10 years ago with another job. Since I quit my mind has been filled with all sorts of memories of incidents in my life where I have been arrogant, defensive, even foolish and have maneuvered things to my own desire. I am feeling very disconnected from everyone I know and from God as well. I feel like I have been a deceptive person throughout my life without really recognizing it. Since looking at your website I have been wondering if I am narcissistic or if I have deceived myself into thinking I was a Christian person when in truth I was just living out of a desire to be liked. I wonder if I have ever really known real love or have given it to others or if I have been so ‘in love with myself’ that I have missed out on experiencing the love of others and of God Himself. I don’t know what to do. I know this is a very brief sketch, but do you have any insights that you could share with me?

Theresa Bell Naticchia said,

September 20, 2014 @ 5:41 pm

Nailed it again 10 years after the death of my sister & brother, I got kicked to the curb by my husband of 10 years, never saw it coming! I had to come to terms that I never really knew my soul mate. It almost killed me literally, I lost 2 weeks of my life, no memory. I didn’t eat, I drank & slept in my car for 6 months & took Tylenol PM. I had my owned/operated cleaning buss. I was a house mom for a Dr. of Internal Medicine & he called my mom, & said he understood but he missed his lunch, I made every day for 8 yrs. I went in that day a Friday & he called me a “Lemon Lady” & wouldn’t eat his lunch, my blood work was so bad 2 more beers would have killed me. Alcoholic Hep. I was netter within 2 weeks but I declined hospitalization & a girlfriend helped me get myself back together. Though I ended up losing my buss. & I left my home town, started a new life just an hour north. I own a home there. Boarded up, but it is my safe place as to never have to sleep in my car again. But I think I really would have died from the above mentioned, but really it was a broken heart. There is no doubt I believe that can kill a person. That was 17 years ago, I’ve been w/ the same man since, but still keep that wall around me! And I thought I knew everything “snarky” ;)
Theresa

Tio said,

June 9, 2018 @ 8:25 pm

I had a bad reputation. Have no boundaries and societyties.. I was suffering from poverty and depraved situations and that for a long time. I could not pay the groceries in the supermarket anymore and went dependent cause I had no money on my account so the narcissist did this. I could hardly pay the bills of the rent and Was panicking and thinking all the time. Recently I had flashbacks of that time but it is long a go now. It went on for years and I am afraid that it can or will happen again. This house remembers me of a damn hard time and it seems not to stay a way to think of that horrible time with that person. I could n”t get a way. In the beginning i did n”t know it was a raging yerk. I”ve been robbed of things that remembers me from the past and with emotional value. .

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