Dr. Sam

When we adopted my daughter, straight from the orphanage, we found her malnourished, with a hideous diaper rash, a strong dislike of being touched or held, and a strange custom of flicking her fingers in the air, and being transfixed by the action. We later learned these were all signs of neglect from her caretakers at the orphanage, but no abuse we know about though her psychologist say we will never know. She was rarely held, even had her bottle propped up during feedings, and had no toys, no stimulation, hence, her fingers flicking in the air, a sign of desperately trying to stimulate her senses.

I knew, by the time we arrived back in the USA that she was different (I had 2 bio. children)… and it seemed all was well within a year…i forced her to be held and rocked, gave her massages, anything for stimulation…and she relaxed into it by about 4 months. But as the years went on she started to show strange behaivior, and it was before anyone talked or maybe even knew, about this Reactive Attachment Disorder. As other signs began to surface we started to see psychiatrists from the time she was 5, but no one had ever had a case like hers and didn’t really know what to do. I scoured the internet for any information about kids like her and discovered there were many adoptees who shared symptoms similar to my daughter.

Last year, 6th grade, she had sort of a break down, major panic attacks, especially at school. She would hide a cell phone in the bathroom and call home screaming to us to pick her up and take her home for various reasons, especially if it was windy. Horrible hours long attacks. Her older sister who she is very close to, moved here from LA to help her. Now my 12 yr. old daughter is on meds., meeting with a psychologist who has worked with kids like her, and is doing much better, especially in Jr. High, although she is still very closed off and will never talk about her feelings etc. I am still worried about her i don’t know if she can ever be really truly happy if she can’t learn to let go, or whatever you would call it. i’ve tried everything.

Now from Dr. Sam we learn that anxiety problems in the expectant mother can translate to the baby in their womb, and you can imagine the anxiety levels in a mother in China who knows she is going to have to give up this baby if it is her second one. My daughter was found in a basket on a street corner, with a note, 6 days after her birth. Luckily someone found her and took her to an orphanage. God, what to do? So much against her as well as many many adoptees from China.

Needless to say, I am more than intrigued by your concept of fetal trauma leading to psychological issues that adults exhibit.

I am only in my senior year of my undergrad in psychology. I found you in the comments section on the PhD page at Capella University, and was curious about your studies and career. I am considering pursuing the same degree after I complete my MS in Mental Health.

I am seriously thinking of entering the field of cognitive neuroscience for the purpose of trying to determine whether events such as fetal trauma has effects on the human brain, and if those effects can lead to such mental illness as bi-polar disorder, and the like. I suppose stated in the form of a hypothesis, it would sound something like: Do the effects of fetal trauma on the human brain contribute to the onset of bi-polar disorder?

I would love to stay in contact with you (though my journey is only beginning, and I expect it to be a long one). I would love to bounce ideas off of you, and gain knowledge from your own extensive experience. . . if you don’t mind my picking your brain!

Jessica (Politte) Patterson

Dr. Sam

I must say that you certainly have had one “hell” of a life! Thank you for sharing your story. Most of us have different places where we see the light. For some it is sooner and for others, later. Some never see the light. It looks like you’ve been seeing light. I celebrate that with you. Each one of us are beggars. It is that some of us don’t realize it or won’t admit it. We are all looking for “bread.”

Again, thanks for sharing your story on my web site. I hope it can be of tremendous encouragement showing a person who has not given up.

God bless,

Dr. Sam

When I was born, and looked just like his sisters, blonde with blue eyes, even though both my parents had raven black hair and brown eyes, he stopped being quite so paranoid..but only after his mother told him of that resemblance.lol

Felt the different treatment by both parents, especially after my two brothers were born. I was no one’s favorite. My mother’s fav was the first brother,with black hair and blue eyes- and my father’s was the younger brother, as he got his black haired, brown eyed son.So, I learned to nurture myself with being out in nature,having pets, and found a heavenly Father who loved me just as I was.
Know I was dyslexic and A.D.D.

Was just diagnosed last yr, at age 62, with bipolar II PTSD, and Social Anxiety Disorder. However, figure these were also brought on by the very violent early home life witnessed, being kidnapped at age 15. Developed agoraphobia but didn’t know what it was called back then, in the early 60’s, but “treated” myself by gradually going outside until I could start attending high school again.It took one year to do.

Then,, later having a violent marriage, and then kids’ father kidnapping them. Then, while starting to live my life, while depressed over all that, was sexually attacked twice, within a 10 yr span..which made me lay off dating. Met a man through church, and married after two yrs, but that should’ve been annulled, as he was not at all what he appeared to be.That turned violent, as he returned to drugs and alcohol and tried to get me into sex orgies and drugs. I had to leave the state for my safety.

I became homeless,after not being able to find a job, as hoped.

Also began living in Salvation Army’s women’s center, and that’s when I began having a hallucination of the wrought iron fence being so hot that it had heat waves emanating from it..it was quite hectic living there…but found a place to go for psychiatric evaluation, besides Parkland Hospital, in Dallas, where I lived- and wound up at a wonderful place,LifeNet- that let me know they could help me with housing,and meds, and treatment- if I didn’t do drugs or alcohol. I never did drugs, but sometimes imbibed but didnt want to end up like my mother, who died from alcoholism at age 45.

Oh, also: Have reconnected with my four kids, now that they’re grown, we’ve met on facebook. Three out of the four have been diagnosed with bipolar.Only one takes meds.Two daughters claim their father molested them during the years they lived with him. I know Bipolar runs on their side of the family. My younger brother has been diagnosed with bipolar I. Fairly sure my kids’ father is a narcisstic personality/possibly even sociapathic or borderline ..he shows absolutely no remorse. His uncle passed away, and so he left his 2nd wife and married his aunt. ??? For a while my two daughters who were molested said how gross of him. but now they’ve “friended” him on facebook! I don’t know what to think.

Guess my hormones were busy drenching the womb back then,on all my pregnancies, because that marriage was frought with much anxiety.He was doing alcohol,drugs,and having affairs,with men and women. I stayed way too long.

So now, I’m on meds, in my own HUD apt, with mainly peaceful surroundings, and doing what’s required to keep all this going. Obviously need more counselling, huh? lol

Does any of this help you research-wise?

Cherie Crisp