Recognize Narcissism: A Video By Dr. Sam
If you want to know what a narcissist looks like, especially if you are married, dating, or are friends with one, then this video is for you! Enjoy.
There is also an article on this subject by Dr. Sam
Iveta said,
March 27, 2010 @ 8:16 amYes, you’re so right!! I just find AFTER 4 years my boyfriend is a Narcissist. I have been in love with him an I did not see he is a Narcissist till……I broke down every way. Now I am moving away form him (he is trying be good to me… a game, he just needs somebody to help him with his financial situation and he needs me for sex…well). Very great video… I wish i saw this video few years ago!
Dr.Sam said,
March 27, 2010 @ 8:43 amThank you, Iveta! You are right. Extreme narcissists will be like a rubber band who play the game of being close and sweet then distant and hard. That is their high level of being full of themselves. They only use you and then toss you into the garbage. Be careful next time! 
Cookie said,
March 29, 2010 @ 1:37 pmThanks! Brilliant and so accurate! I think so many of us have met these personality types and believed that we were somehow at fault for their sudden switch from kind and selfless to tyrannical and raging. Thanks so much!
Dr.Sam said,
August 22, 2010 @ 8:36 pmCynthia,
A lot of narcissists can be passive aggressive, Cynthia. Some extreme narcissists have active and very visible anger and some have it more covertly and are ticking time-bombs.
Cronista SEO Writer | Business Creativity | Cronista SEO Writer said,
September 21, 2010 @ 7:03 pm[...] writes articles for websites, including his own. He posts counseling-related videos on youtube. He’s participates in his Facebook community and comments on blogs. He creates media, [...]
Eileen said,
October 3, 2010 @ 10:55 amThank you for this insightful video. I’ve been dating
a man for 3 months who is showing the signs of being an extreme narcissist. He loves talking about himself to a point that I have a hard time getting a word in. To me, the relationship is beginning to feel one-sided, where I am always asking the questions and he doesn’t at all. I decided to share information with him, and while he does
listen, he usually doesn’t comment, and then changes the subject to something he’s doing. He has not pressed me for sex, while though I find that refreshing, his ability to show affection is also kept at a minimum.
I am invited to a party for a friend next week, and I have asked him to come. He told me right away, that he’s not interested because he won’t know anyone there. I called him on it—and reminded him that I went to a party a few weeks ago with him, and even though I didn’t know anyone, I had a good time. I told him that this party was for a friend who would be turning 60 and its a difficult birthday for her. I want to support her. I asked him to think about it this week, and if he would change his mind, that would be great.–If not, that would be ok too. Again I have not pressured him. But at this point, I feel that if he can’t be there for me, then this is a real problem. Thanks for listening.
Dr.Sam said,
October 3, 2010 @ 11:03 amEileen,
Be careful. This is a sign of things to come. Do you have all the time in the world to work through the incredibly deep stuff this guy is carrying? Thousands of more hours of listening to his selfishness? I would advise you to move on. There are better guys out there that would love to be with a caring person like you.
Suzanne said,
October 16, 2010 @ 9:09 pmThank you so much for this video and your article. Both my mother and sister are narcissists…cut from the same cloth. My relationships with them have been emotionally painful and exhausting. I currently have limited contact with my mother (on my terms) and zero contact with my sister. I’ve recently begun seeing a therapist to help me understand narcissism, their behavior and the devastating effects it has had on our entire family.
What I’m having the hardest time understanding is how two sisters raised with the same parents and upbringing could be so total opposites.
Joan said,
April 21, 2011 @ 7:05 amThis perfectly describes my dad, who was traumatized at age 6 by the death of his brother (& raised by a Victorian strict & controlling mother). He went on to be an undercover agent for the CIA. (Matt Damon’s character in ‘The Good Shepherd’ was his boss).
Your article on Psych Central said there was hope for these folks, but I’d understood it was an incurable personality disorder.
Dr.Sam said,
April 21, 2011 @ 9:14 amI do believe that narcissism is curable. Something as simple as following the famous 12-Steps is the antidote along with therapy that targets the emotional deficits and forming traumas of the past.
Anonymous said,
May 22, 2011 @ 10:09 pmIs charm always narcissism?
Dr.Sam said,
July 9, 2011 @ 12:02 pmCharm is not always narcissism.
nan said,
August 1, 2011 @ 10:36 amI have an adult daughter who is in the extreme area of narcissim. she has now included a guy in her life this past year who is also the same though they manifest differently. there are children by different fathers involved in which my husband and I essentially do the real parenting. But it is killing us trying to keep the kids safe and provide for them while the drama continues and all the aspects of narcissim plays out day after day. i feel like i am dying, trapped, crazy, causing it, etc. I have been trying to not enable, but this far past just not enabling isn’t it??? People, especially church people don’t see it. They think we are the ones judging and being critical. we are just tired and concerned about the welfare of the kids.
but here is the painful part too. i think that i contributed to some of it because when they were young i had several years of struggle with my emotional health, even being stunted inwardly in emotional maturity. i realized this stuff and i did everything, using all kinds of venues to get better. i always loved my kids and they were the reasons i sought to get better, i didn’t want to damage them….. but i did. it is almost too painful to read this about a narcistic person because i know that she is really hiding and bleeding inside but I can’t deal with the pain and destruction she is bringing to our family, finances, and health. All the work I did over the years to get more emotionally healthy is being destroyed and I know that too is my fault because I can make the choice to walk away. . . but i can’t walk away from a 5 year old, a 2 and a half, and now a newborn….. all by different daddy’s. she is playing in a fantasy land and as you have said, she uses people and when they are not of use, they are thrown out like trash. lies oh my goodness, master at that. i don’t know what to do really. clergy are of no help, even a friend who is a therapist just shake their head and tell me to either learn to deal with it or get on with my life….. i can’t abandon those kids and if i walked out they would feel emotionally abandoned for sure……
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Vanessa Rueda said,
March 7, 2010 @ 1:18 pmAs usual, Dr. Sam does it again! Amazing , insightful information that is so true! I agree with Luis, you should definately do more videos. You are awesome!