Comments on: The Don http://www.drsam.tv/2009/07/18/the-don/ Transforming Lives Mon, 23 Aug 2010 02:36:40 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.2 hourly 1 By: Adrian Lievano http://www.drsam.tv/2009/07/18/the-don/comment-page-1/#comment-220 Adrian Lievano Tue, 22 Jun 2010 16:54:59 +0000 http://www.drsam.tv/?p=94#comment-220 A very interesting article, I can relate to such behavior considering that I come from a very large hispanic family. My grandmother is the "supreme ruler" and partakes the role of showering gifts and playing "victim" simply to amplify her dominance in the family. I also see the child-like behavior in my aunt's husband because his mother is another "supreme ruler" to him. It is a phenomenon, however, my mother is deviating from the pattern and I see the scorn that her siblings give her. Could the reason for my mothers deviation be the fact that she has 6 kids 5 being boys? now men? It is beginning to seem that the supreme mother is showering my brothers and I in order to continue to matriarch cycle, can it be broken without throes? A very interesting article, I can relate to such behavior considering that I come from a very large hispanic family. My grandmother is the “supreme ruler” and partakes the role of showering gifts and playing “victim” simply to amplify her dominance in the family. I also see the child-like behavior in my aunt’s husband because his mother is another “supreme ruler” to him.
It is a phenomenon, however, my mother is deviating from the pattern and I see the scorn that her siblings give her. Could the reason for my mothers deviation be the fact that she has 6 kids 5 being boys? now men?
It is beginning to seem that the supreme mother is showering my brothers and I in order to continue to matriarch cycle, can it be broken without throes?

]]> By: Dr.Sam http://www.drsam.tv/2009/07/18/the-don/comment-page-1/#comment-88 Dr.Sam Mon, 15 Mar 2010 01:12:35 +0000 http://www.drsam.tv/?p=94#comment-88 Anglo, I believe you did the right thing. Sorry it cost you your marriage. What you went through was basically that you stood up to the matriarch and prevented her from castrating you and her son. It is definitely counter-culture but in this aspect, the culture is dysfunctional because it produces feminized men when they are prohibited from leaving the mother's tentacles and control. I wish you better luck next time in a wife. :) Anglo,

I believe you did the right thing. Sorry it cost you your marriage. What you went through was basically that you stood up to the matriarch and prevented her from castrating you and her son. It is definitely counter-culture but in this aspect, the culture is dysfunctional because it produces feminized men when they are prohibited from leaving the mother’s tentacles and control. I wish you better luck next time in a wife. :)

]]> By: Anglo_ex_husband http://www.drsam.tv/2009/07/18/the-don/comment-page-1/#comment-87 Anglo_ex_husband Sat, 13 Mar 2010 07:11:12 +0000 http://www.drsam.tv/?p=94#comment-87 Dr. Sam, I really liked your article. I'm an anglo who married into a devout Catholic, matriarchal, Hispanic family, and found myself in a situation in many ways remarkably like the one you describe. But there was an added twist. Have you ever encountered a situation where the matriarch-in-training mistakenly marries a guy with a really strong personality and sense of self (oops!), and resorts to stirring up a war between her son and his father because she can't break the guy down any other way? Or do you know of any writings about this scenario? Incidentally, after he graduated from HS I got him to move out in order to get him away from her and end our conflicts -- and now he and I get along real well! (And then she asked for a divorce...) Am I the only one this has happened to? Thank you for your insights... Anglo_ex_husband Dr. Sam,

I really liked your article. I’m an anglo who married into a devout Catholic, matriarchal, Hispanic family, and found myself in a situation in many ways remarkably like the one you describe.

But there was an added twist. Have you ever encountered a situation where the matriarch-in-training mistakenly marries a guy with a really strong personality and sense of self (oops!), and resorts to stirring up a war between her son and his father because she can’t break the guy down any other way? Or do you know of any writings about this scenario?

Incidentally, after he graduated from HS I got him to move out in order to get him away from her and end our conflicts — and now he and I get along real well! (And then she asked for a divorce…) Am I the only one this has happened to?

Thank you for your insights…

Anglo_ex_husband

]]> By: Gabriela http://www.drsam.tv/2009/07/18/the-don/comment-page-1/#comment-72 Gabriela Mon, 12 Oct 2009 02:55:08 +0000 http://www.drsam.tv/?p=94#comment-72 On www.youtube.com, at Search, one can put "Dead Can Dance Mylene Farmer" to see a nice allegory related to this subject. On http://www.youtube.com, at Search, one can put “Dead Can Dance Mylene Farmer” to see a nice allegory related to this subject.

]]> By: Dr.Sam http://www.drsam.tv/2009/07/18/the-don/comment-page-1/#comment-66 Dr.Sam Sun, 19 Jul 2009 21:11:50 +0000 http://www.drsam.tv/?p=94#comment-66 The inspiration of such writing, Gloria, was: 1. My experience as a Hispanic person. 2. My research as part of my doctorate. 3. My counseling experience in private practice with Hispanic families and couples. The inspiration of such writing, Gloria, was:

1. My experience as a Hispanic person.

2. My research as part of my doctorate.

3. My counseling experience in private practice with Hispanic families and couples.

]]> By: Gloria Silveira http://www.drsam.tv/2009/07/18/the-don/comment-page-1/#comment-65 Gloria Silveira Sun, 19 Jul 2009 19:18:33 +0000 http://www.drsam.tv/?p=94#comment-65 Interesting article, what was the inspiration behind such writing? Interesting article, what was the inspiration behind such writing?

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