Burnout is subtle. It creeps up on you slowly. How do you know if you are burning out?
I know well the face of burnout. I found myself questioning my motives, feeling guilty, and being greatly misunderstood. Sometimes I was shamed for not “working enough!” I found very few helpful resources. I discovered that most people did not understand the causes and signs of burnout.
What are the signs of burnout?
As a professional counselor I have researched burnout. According to the best research available on the subject there are three aspects of burnout:
When you start to feel like you are getting the short end of the deal, being mistreated, under-appreciated… You may be burning out. Equity means that you get at least enough “payment” that compensates for the effort, work, and pain you put into a relationship or project. When a person is burning out they experience feeling cheated, under-paid, not appreciated enough, trashed, abused, taken for granted, etc.
When you start to run out of emotional gas you know something is wrong! Some signs might be that you cry for no apparent reason. Your energy and motivation is low. You feel wasted. It may be hard to get out of bed. This may be a depression coming over you. In many cases a depression is a form of passive anger. This kind of anger is related to abuse and/or violations of personal boundaries.
When you start to resent or feel bitter towards those you serve and/or love relationally or professionally, then something is wrong. When you see them with fangs like vampires ready to suck your blood instead of individuals that you care for, then you are burning out. This may be a sign of being a co-dependent person who needs to be needed. Persons with poor personal boundaries are susceptible to being taken advantage of by needy opportunists. Like a vacuum cleaner, they suck the life out of you and then leave an empty shell behind as they look for another host to attach themselves to.
These are the three basic signs of burnout. Don’t wait to get help. Don’t wait until your work becomes a “scorched earth” where you cannot return ever again. Get help from those who understand burnout and it causes.
Josue,
It all depends on how far gone a person is in their burnout. If they are very far, then they may need to change jobs, career, location, etc. totally. If not, it may be as simple as changing departments, bosses, job assignments, etc. In my opinion, most burnout issues come from having poor boundaries and not being able to say “No” to people. If this is learned and enforced, then burnout happens less. I hope this helped some.
Dr. Sam
My mother was narcasitic, now passed. My sister is exactly like her. When my parents divorced I went with my dad (also passed) and my sister with my mom. My sister today moved in with me because she developed severe RA. She has been with me for two years with the understanding that once she got herself together health and money wise (recieving disability) that she would move out on her own.
I work several jobs to pay bills (since I am paying the bills for two). She contributes nothing. She is not looking for a place to move unless I keep mentioning it to her.
She does not do anything at all to take care of herself. She only wants her pills, she thinks that thats enough. She does not eat hardly at all and when she does, she eats rice patties or soup or just junk.
She hates it when I am happy or pleased about something. She always puts me down. Never has a kind word for me.
I am always tired…. I work too much, never get the chance to go out and do hardly anything for myself. Too tired or no money because it all goes towards the bills.
She does not notice this at all. If she is not in bed all day, she is out shopping or playing around.
I ask for help with the house (Money or help cleaning) and she gets nasty or says that she is too sick.
I am at my ropes end…..
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Josue Brizuela said,
January 29, 2012 @ 11:29 pmThese are the symptoms, but how do you go about restoring yourself once you have acknowledged that you are burning out?